Spring Things

No more snow! Mom says winter is over and that means we get to go for long walks again! I really like this whole "Spring" thingy she keeps talking about. There are LOTS of new green things coming up out of the ground that I want to sniff. Sometimes Mom lets me smell them and even pee on them, but usually she says no because the flowers are too pretty.

Spring time also means something called Easter. I thought it sounded pretty good at first: there are rabbits (good for chasing!), kids running around (good for playing!) and people dropping candy out of little baskets (good for eating!). However, it has come to my attention that there is something else about Easter that my humans are really into: hats. Oh sure, they think I don't know what they're talking about when they say, "Let's get Buddy an Easter bonnet!" but I know that bonnet is really just another word for hat. I'm smart like that.

So at first I thought Mom was just kidding about the hat, but now I'm a little nervous. Uncle Greg works at Macy's and he told Mom that Macy's is having a dog parade tomorrow...and they are all going to wear bonnets. Mom got really excited because I also have an appointment to be groomed tomorrow and she says it's near the parade route. Oh my dog, I hope she doesn't make me put on a stupid hat and walk around in front of all the other dogs like that. How embarrassing! I don't understand how those other dogs put up with that kind of behavior from their humans. It's not right. Bad human! Bad human!

I'm keeping my paws crossed that she doesn't make me wear my cowboy hat and walk me down Broadway...but you can bet I'll blog about it if she does!

The Christmas

Why? Why do my humans think this is a good look for me? It's pretty obvious I don't like it. It's unnatural. And please, have you ever seen a deer with a bell hanging off of its antler? What a joke.
So Mom says this year we are going to spend Christmas in New York. I don't really know what Christmas is, but it sounds pretty exciting (as long as I don't have to wear anything dumb). I kind of remember Christmas from last year. Mostly I remember that the humans brought a big tree INTO THE HOUSE! It smelled really good, but they wouldn't let me investigate it at all. Everyone kept telling me "No, Buddy!" everytime I got close enough to sniff it. What's the big deal? I sniff trees and bushes and garbage cans and wet spots on the ground all the time when I go for walks! Humans are weird. And they sure do like to dress things up that aren't supposed to be dressed up. Like that big tree! After they brought it into the house, they put all kinds of lights and sparkly things on it. And then, they put these big socks up by the fireplace. I have no idea what that was all about. Were they trying to taunt me? Mom knows how much I like to chew on socks. That was really unfair.
But the nice part about this Christmas thing is that I got a lot of new toys because of it. My favorite toy last year was a squeeky platapus. And the food. I got lots of wet food because of the Christmas. Maybe that will happen again! In that case, I'll wear the antler. But only if I get the wet food AND a new squeeker.

Sweaters.

I don't know who thought it was a good idea to put a sweater on a dog (who's already wearing a coat!!!) but it's lame. Frankly, I'm a little shocked and a whole lot annoyed that some of my dogs in this hood wear sweaters, jackets, puffy vests...even boots! Outside! Where PEOPLE can see! What an embarrassment! You'll never catch me in something like that. I wouldn't even wear the walking harness my mom got me...waaaaaay to snug and sweater-like. No thank you.

Speaking of mom, she's been really excited this week, talking about something she calls "snow." Apparently, "snow" is coming to town soon and she wants to be prepared. That also means I have to be prepared. But I'm not sure what for. Mom got prepared by buying all kinds of new things she puts on her hands, head and feet. Good dog. I hope she doesn't put that crap on me. There's no way I'm putting something on my head that has a puff-ball on top.

Showstopper

Today I got to go for a reeeeeealy long walk in the park by my house. It was a beautiful morning and mom didn't even make me wear my sweater! After TCB (mom says I'm taking care of business - TCB- when we go for walks) and squirrel chasing, we sat on a park bench while mom read her book. It was a great time! The sun was shining, I got to sit on mom's lap while she read and then, two little girls came up to pet me! They were very friendly and wanted to know all about me. I was definitely the BDE for them. Not to sound too smug, but they loved me. Bria, one of the little girls, kept saying how she wanted a dog just like me. Mom decided to really lay it on thick and we sang for them. The kids loved it, and so did their dad, who was with them in the park. In fact, we were so good, a crowd of people came to watch! It was AWESOME! I was a total rockstar! Total strangers were telling me how great I was and that I should be on TV.

I'm getting an agent.

Squirrels are NOT magic!

Squirrels are devious little vermin. Maybe that's why I can't stop myself from chasing one when I see one taunting me.

Ok, I'll admit they had me fooled...but only at first! My first week or so here, I was fascinated by these little fluffy-tailed squeekers. Initially, I thought squirrels were magic! I'd see one, I'd chase it, he'd run to a tree...and then, POOF! He disappeared! Like the little guy was never there! There was no trap door. No human to scoop him up and pocket him. Nothing! So, naturally, I figured they had magic powers. But today, I discovered the truth!

I was out on a walk earlier than usual and I was the only pup in the park. It was like heaven: no competition, no butts to sniff, no children to entertain, no ladies to delight. It was just me, the grass, the trees and the squirrels. Mom gave me a little more leash than usual...and that's when I discovered that squirrels do NOT have superpowers. They can only disappear when I chase them because they know how to climb! Cheaters! All they do is tease little dogs like me and then run away up their squirrel trees where little dogs can't reach them. Lame. All of them. Lame. I bet not a single squirrel on my block has a Halloween costume! Well, I'll show them all this Friday!

Bet you can't guess what I'm going as this Halloween!

Toodles!
Noodles.

A Word About Cats

I know saying this might not make me too popular with other dogs, but I kind of miss my cat-panions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that cats are better than dogs or as fun and friendly as we are...but they're not all that bad. For example, my very first cat-panion, Oscar, who belonged to my good friend Anna, was a pretty cool cat. He wasn't a spaz like some cats I've heard about. In fact, he was pretty mellow. Maybe because he's older and more mature than some of the cats I'd met before. Also, he wasn't scary. Maybe because he was missing some teeth. But hey, don't get the wrong idea here. It's not like I'm scared of cats. I mean, for the love of dog, I'm a canine! There are teeth named after my species! Or, genus...or...well, whatever, they don't let dogs take biology. The point is, not all cats are lame.

Speaking of Anna, I miss her. She always took really good care of me. She even taught me how to sing! I'm a pretty good singer, if I do say so myself. In fact, I'm sooooo good, I am going to perform in the talent show at the school where my mom teaches. I'm not sure what I' going to howl yet, but I really don't care. I just want to show all of my mom's new students that I really AM the BDE!




This is a picture of Anna with me in one of our twin outfits. Ok, really, it's our only twin outfit. She's got a pretty good sense of style. But it hasn't always been that way...

This is a picture of the very first time she dressed me up. Yes, those are suspenders. And yes, that is underwear for girls that she put on me.

And speaking of fashion, mom says she's taking me to Petsmart now to buy me a harness for our walks. They're what all the NYC dogs are wearing this fall. Leashed collars are so last summer.

Toodles!
-Noodles

Sunday is the Best Day!

Today is Sunday and that is my favorite day of the week. I always get to sleep in and go for a really long walk when my mom gets up. During the week, she gets up obscenely early and walks me at the un-dogly hour of 6:00. AM! So naturally, snuggling under the covers until 9:00 or 10:00 is fantastic.

This morning was particularly nice because the weather just got cold. Mom took me to the park by our house pretty early, so I was the only dog there. Not only does that mean I get to be on my long leash, it also means there is no competition for SQUIRREL CHASING! Oh my dog! I had never seen a real squirrel until I moved here. They move a lot faster than the ones people used to throw for me to chase inside. I still haven't been able to catch an outdoor squirrel yet to see if it makes the same squeeky sound that my indoor squirrel does, but I'm really anxious to find out.

Speaking of squeekers, Mom laughed really hard this morning when I tore the wing off of my duck squeeker. She said it looked lame, like our current president. I didn't know what she meant, but I wagged my tail anyway.


Wow, I wrote a lot. I should take a nap so I have the energy to be cute later.