The Christmas

Why? Why do my humans think this is a good look for me? It's pretty obvious I don't like it. It's unnatural. And please, have you ever seen a deer with a bell hanging off of its antler? What a joke.
So Mom says this year we are going to spend Christmas in New York. I don't really know what Christmas is, but it sounds pretty exciting (as long as I don't have to wear anything dumb). I kind of remember Christmas from last year. Mostly I remember that the humans brought a big tree INTO THE HOUSE! It smelled really good, but they wouldn't let me investigate it at all. Everyone kept telling me "No, Buddy!" everytime I got close enough to sniff it. What's the big deal? I sniff trees and bushes and garbage cans and wet spots on the ground all the time when I go for walks! Humans are weird. And they sure do like to dress things up that aren't supposed to be dressed up. Like that big tree! After they brought it into the house, they put all kinds of lights and sparkly things on it. And then, they put these big socks up by the fireplace. I have no idea what that was all about. Were they trying to taunt me? Mom knows how much I like to chew on socks. That was really unfair.
But the nice part about this Christmas thing is that I got a lot of new toys because of it. My favorite toy last year was a squeeky platapus. And the food. I got lots of wet food because of the Christmas. Maybe that will happen again! In that case, I'll wear the antler. But only if I get the wet food AND a new squeeker.